Pretty please with a cherry on top!

"May I watch TV?"
"Did you say please?"
"Pleeeeeeeeease!"
"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"
"Cherries don't grow on TVs, you silly. Cherries grow on ice creams."

On getting old...

Maya and I were having a conversation about what 'old' and 'older' mean. I explained that the longer it is since you were born, the older you are.

Maya: "I don't want to get older"
Me: "Why not? What do you think happens when you get older?"
Maya: "I don't know - what does happen when you get older?"
Daddy interjects "You get wiser!"
Me: "That's right - you learn more and more things and it's fun to learn new things"

Maya: "I think I'll just learn one thing and then I won't get older"

Monster burgers weren't a huge hit

We had a whole Halloween weekend menu planned. Maya chose the food herself and was very excited to make and eat it all. Baked eyeballs... hot dog mummies... a black lagoon and more! Pictures of everything will follow :)

Tonight, we had monster burgers. Maya was messing around with hers and not really eating it. S asked her why she wasn't eating her food.

"I AM eating it. I'm just not very impressed with it."

Oh dear!

This child cracks me up!

We were getting lunch sorted and Maya started eating some of her little bunny crackers. I said "Hey! Don't start eating them yet, Missy!" and she replied "I was just holding them in my mouth because there wasn't enough room in my hands. I only have two hands."

Yesterday, I was in the middle of making dinner, Maya was sitting at the table drinking some milk through a straw.

Talking to it.

So I ask her why she's talking to a straw.

"Well, you see, some straws have wings and some straws don't. This one is growing its wings so it can be like its Mama."

"Okaaaaaay. But why are you talking to a straw?"

"I'm not talking to a straw. That's silly.

*phew*

"It's talking to me."

She's too clever for her own good :D

Games...

Maya was shaking the bars on Elise's baby gym and I asked her what she was doing (why do parents always ask questions to which they know the answer, anyway?).

"I'm playing a game"
"Oh, what's the game called?"
"It's called 'Pin The Tail'"
"It's not called 'Annoy Elise As Much As You Can", then?"
"No; that's a different game, but I have that one too. Maybe I'll play it tomorrow."

I swear I didn't teach her this!

But still, never a truer word was spoken...

Conversation overhead while Maya was playing with a toy carriage and some small toy dogs.
"This is the Mummy doggie and she's going to drive because the Daddy doggie doesn't drive properly, so Mummy doggie needs to drive the car so it drives properly."

Ah, the wisdom of youth!

No cake for you!

"I'm not talking to you, Mummy" (after being reminded of one of the house rules)
*Stalks off to her bedroom*
"MUMMY!!!!! COME AND SEE ME NOT TALKING TO YOU!"
We'd made a cake earlier in the day, so I thought this was the perfect bribe...
"Little girls who don't talk to their Mummies don't get any cake."
"I am talking to you, Mummy! See - I was just joking!"

Ten minutes later I was on the phone to Michele...

"Mummy are you not talking to me?"
I pout my lips and shake my head
"Well, you're not a talky girl, are you? I guess there won't be any cake for you then!"

This one's for you, Mum!

I doubt whether anyone else will get this, but I know Mum will ;)

Maya has several small toy bins on the bottom shelf of her bookshelves. They're receptacles for all the little bits and pieces - the finger puppets, plastic animals, card games etc. which would otherwise clutter up the house. She'd been playing with the contents of the bins this morning and they were scattered all over her floor.

I needed to go to the garage to put some laundry in and I asked Maya to put everything back in the bins while I was out there. When I came back in, she was sitting on the floor, picking up her toys one by one, shining a torch onto them and then putting them in the bins.

I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm making sure my toys are OK before I put them away."

I guess there's more to genetics than you might at first think :D

Nice mail, Mummy!

I opened the front door to get the post from the box.
Maya asked me where I was going...

Me: "Nowhere, sweetheart - I'm just checking the mail."

I grabbed the flyers/junk mail/fodder for the recycle bin and closed the door again.

Maya: "Nice mail, Mummy!"

I didn't respond, as I was flicking through on the off chance that there was something worth reading in there.

Maya: "What do you say, Mummy? What do you say when someone gives you a compliment?"

Burger King is the BEST!

I mentioned to Maya that we might think about convincing S to take us out for dinner. I asked her where she thought she'd like to go.

"Burger King!"
"Really? Is Burger King the best place you can think of to go out for dinner?"
"Yes! They have cheeeeeeeeeeezburgers at Burger King."
"Cheeseburgers, eh?"
"Yes! And fries too! And they have apple juice! Burger King has EVERYTHING!"

Oh me, oh my. And I've tried so hard to instil some sense of refinement...

Daddy, where's your hair?

S was bemoaning his ever-increasing bald spot in front of Maya. He told her to touch it...

"There's no hair there, Daddy!"
"I know - I don't want to lose my hair"
"Then why do you keep putting it in my bath?"

These conversations crack me up!

We've been playing in the pool today, since it's lovely and warm. We had to come out for a potty break and, when we returned, Maya sat on a chair by the side of the pool.

Me: "Are you not getting back in the pool?"
Maya: "No, I don't think so. I'm a little bit tired so I'm going to wait a few days until I've finished sitting on the chair. Are you going to be ok, playing with toys and things?"

The other day, I asked Maya what she wanted to play. Her response: "Let's play hoovering. The floor's dirty." Thanks, Maya - way to make Mummy feel good!

A couple of 'bedtime' funnies!

Playing for time...

"I don't want to go to bed, Mummy"
"It's bed time, Maya. Night night, poppet"
"One more cuddle and kiss?"
"Ok - just one more. Night night, now"
"Look Mummy - I'm going to sleep like this!" *turning and lying the wrong way round on the bed*
"Ok, sweetheart" *walking towards the door*
"But look, Mummy - I'm going to sleep like this!" *draping self half-in, half-out of bed*
"Ok, sweetheart" *continue walking towards door*
"But look, Mummy - I'm going to sleep like THIS!!!" *sitting on floor and leaning against bed*
"Ok. Night night, now" *leaving room*
"Oh, ok Mummy - I don't want to sleep like that" *getting back into bed and lying properly*
"Goodnight, Maya"
"Night night, Mummy"

How bedtime works...

Daddy: "I'm very tired"
Maya: "Ok, Daddy. Go lie down on the bed and cry and I'll bring you some toys."

Friends Forever

Maya and I were colouring together when she suddenly asked:
"Mummy, are you my friend?"
"Of course I am, sweetheart. I'll always be your friend."
At which point she leaned over, gave me a hug and a kiss and then promptly went back to her colouring.

It's moments like this....

"I'm not whining!"

Maya has been in trouble a fair bit recently for whining. It's been a struggle to get her to think first and whine second, as her default is to start whining and crying as soon as she begins to feel frustrated about something.

She asked me if I wanted to play Shopping List, so I replied that I would but that she needed to get it set up first and then I would come and play with her. When I walked back into the room, she was sitting with all the Shopping List pieces scattered around her, drumming her heels on the floor and making a fizzing sound through her clenched teeth.

As soon as she saw me, she adamantly stated:

"I'm not whining! I'm saying FZZZZZZZZZZZT!"

At least she's found a vent for her frustrations that doesn't set my teeth on edge :D

Opposites

We were playing a game of opposites yesterday. It's the first time I've really introduced the concept and Maya surprised me in how quickly she picked up on it. She was able to correctly identify the opposites of things like day, in, up, happy, on etc. etc. then S asked her "What's the opposite of smile?" I thought she would have no idea whatsoever because frown is not a word that I believe she knows. She thought for a little while and then suddenly came out with "Owie". I was pretty impressed - that's some fairly good deductive reasoning right there!

The story of Princess Maya

"Princess Maya walk forest. Three chairs, first sit big chair... too big! Sit miggle chair... too big! Sit ickle chair... perfect! Three porrrrridge! First, big porridge, too big, sec miggle porridge, too cold, take ickle porridge - perfect! Do gobble gobble gobble. Three beds. First big bed - too big! Sec miggle bed - too big! Sit ickle bed - perfect! Have nap. Snoooore.Three bears come home. Daddy bear sit big chair, Mummy bear sit miggle chair, baby bear sit baby chair. Porridge boken. Kying - waaaaah, sit my chair! Baby bear kying. Porridge berry saaaad. Watch three beds. Daddy bear sit big bed, Mummy bear sit miggle bed, baby bear sit baby bed. Princess Maya wake UP! Three bears saw Princess Maya walk to forest!"

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Firstly, I must comment on the difficulties inherent in getting a 2yr old to keep something as "a surprise".

Maya and I went off shopping for Daddy's presents and cake yesterday and I kept reminding her that it was a surprise for Daddy, for his birthday. Obviously this did sink in... somewhat.

We collected Daddy from the train station in the evening and no sooner was he in the car than Maya was telling him "Happy Birthday" and waffling on about surprises and candles. She did also tell him about the trousers I had bought for his gift. Luckily, Daddy is not quite so clued in on Maya-speak as Mummy is, and failed to pick up on any of her not-so-subtle hints. Equally luckily, Maya has a tendency to follow up the word 'surprise' with "piece of toast!" (she somehow managed to learn that at Granny's house) so that kind of threw Daddy off the scent, I think. Maybe he was just pretending to be clueless ;)

Here she is singing Happy Birthday to Daddy this evening. Enjoy!

Chick or Cheat!

Maya's Hallowe'en costume arrived today (big thank you to Granny!!) and she tried it on after she woke up from her nap. Not only does it fit perfectly but boy, does it ever look adorable! She was a little reluctant to put the hat on but with the help of a mirror, her 'Who Said Boo?' book ("Look, Maya - those witches wear hats. You have to wear a hat to be a proper witch") and dire admonitions about how she wouldn't get sweeties on Hallowe'en unless she wore a hat (isn't bribery a wonderful thing?), she finally capitulated.

One pumpkin basket and one kitchen door later, there we were practising how to Trick or Treat. The Maya way...

"Knock knock who's there??"
"Gosh, I wonder who this can be... " *open kitchen door* "... Goodness me, it's a witch!"
"Chick or Cheat! Give seepies please!" (seepies = sweeties. You probably have to be 2 to understand that one).

I'm working on getting her to understand that it's rude to actually ask for the sweeties in advance. I'm also working on getting her to take the costume off...

"Nanny bought it!"

We were in the car heading to the swings (I know; we should have walked. We were lazy today. I sent a mental apology to the environment along with a promise to shiver for at least two days this winter to make up for it) when Maya piped up "Nanny BOUGHT it!" What did "Nanny" (it's Maya's mispronunciation of Granny. Maya can get away with it because she's cute, but I wouldn't think of trying it yourself if I were you) buy? The car seat, of course, silly.

This is her newest craze. She needs to know who bought absolutely everything that she comes across. The vast majority of the things she comes across are toys - she is 2, after all - and most of them were gifts, so it gives me a warm sense of accomplishment to know that I'm raising a nice, grateful child who will always appreciate the things that others do for her. In my dreams, I know, but it's nice while it lasts. On the other hand, it can become a little irritating: "Thamma bought it!" "No, actually Mummy did. It's just a wooden spoon - they don't make wonderful Christmas gifts." And so on, ad infinitum.

Consider a trip to the bathroom, where we have to discuss the origins of the rug, the toilet paper, the soap and the towel before we can even begin to think about doing what nature intended. She hasn't yet thought to query the identity of the kind person who gifted us the porcelain throne, for some reason.